This is Great Sex! - Dissociative Identity Disorder

The Bizarre Enslavement of Elizabeth

Melody Brooke, MA, Conflict Coach, Motivational Speaker — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:37:11 GMT

The Captivity of Elizabeth

Josef Fritzl shocked and surprised most of the world with the bizarre story of his enslavement of his now 42 year old daughter and her two sons. Rocking Austria with the news, his daughter exposed the horrors she suffered to the police. For 24 years she was held captive by this man, unable to even see the light of day. Before that, she was also his captive slave as his sex slave since the age of 11. Who knows how many more of her 6 surviving children have also been his sex slaves. We know that pedophiles have no limits to the number of children they can and will use for their sexual pleasure.

One of the questions we will likely never know the answers to is who else was involved in helping him set up his mini-prison for his progeny. Certainly others had to have been involved in building out this sound proof cellar that even his wife didn’t know existed. It would have been too difficult for him to do this himself, authorities say.

Child captives

The horrors of what this man has done are shocking to most people. Raping and holding his own children captive is unthinkable for most of us. I thank God for that fact. Yet, stories like this come to me every day. Perhaps they were not held captive for 24 years, but they were certainly held captive for their entire childhoods.

This is often the reality of what survivors of childhood sexual abuse. They are in fact at the total control of their abusing parents. Their position as children gives them no rights and no way to escape, they are totally dependant on their parents for their care and have no choice but to do whatever their parents tell them to do. If they are in some type of cult, they are even more trapped because it involves all of the people in their world.

Or split off selves

The result is a type of psychic splitting that often becomes Dissociative Identity Disorder. For some its merely Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, where the splits are not clear cut and do not carry clearly separate identities, only moods or jobs and memories of what occurred that is blocked out by the host. Many of us are like this, whether we realize it or not. If you have blocks of your childhood you don’t recall it could be held by a ego-state split off from your conscious awareness.

This is what explains the bizarre and inexplicable behavior of people who seem “ordinary” to the outside world and who have alter identities that behave in sometimes horrific ways. That is not to say that all DID’s have horrific things they do or have done, mostly this is not true. But this is how this sort of thing occurs.

How the Cycle of Egocentrism starts inside

Because our psyches are set up to split off awareness of things to awful for our little minds to comprehend, we send this part of our awareness into the nether regions of our mind. This part of us has been a Victim of something awful. Then perhaps this part of us has to continue to participate in horrors and to survive, models themselves after the perpetrator of the abuse. This part of them becomes like their perpetrator in order to survive so they become a Self Protector. In order to protect themselves, they align with their perpetrator. Or they become the caretaker of their perpetrator to survive becoming a Rescuer.

It changes everything when you recognize how the splitting occurs in all of us at some level. When it occurs to the degree it did for Josef Fritzl, it creates a monster that most of us cannot fathom. Yes, even Josef Fritzl deserves empathy. What could have happened to him to make him become the horrific nightmare of a human being he became? To be really clear: this does not justify his behavior. He is still responsible for what he did, even if we can recognize that at some point he was a Victim as well.

What do you think?

Is it possible to find empathy for such a monster? Like Hitler, Josef Fritzl did horrid things. But at some level he, too, was just trying to survive in the only way he could figure out to survive based on how he saw his world. Let me know what you think. Comment below.

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England's Child Abuse Horror by Melody Brooke, Author, Conflict Coach

Melody Brooke, MA, Conflict Coach, Motivational Speaker — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:10:48 GMT

Horror's in Jersey, England

Since 1867 there has been a children's home in England reported to have been a haven for pedophiles and a hell for children. Over a hundred years of it's history at least some of that time children were raped, tortured and beaten. Many of the survivors are still alive today and report the after effects of living with that kind of trauma. Some did not survive and ended up killing themselves. They have found evidence of murders as well as torture and sexual abuse.

These are the stories of real live human beings, who as innocent children suffered things no one should have to endure. There are stories of these things happening all over the world, at various times and places, and seldom are they verified in the end. It is a rare thing for the evidence to be coming out in such a way as to actually validate the survivors reports.

Does this happen in the U.S.?

In the US we tend to find ways to sweep the incidents under the rug, so to speak. Most of the time when there is a report of systemized abuse of children the report is in the news with much sensationalism. The facts seem irrevocable. Then, over time the facts, the evidence slowly erode into nothing. The evidence disappears, the witnesses suddenly become unavailable for comment or retract their earlier statements. The False Memory people are smug.

The results

Then the adults show up in therapy suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), depression, suicidality, extreme anxiety, drug and alcohol abuse, DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), obsessive compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder, self-abuse, and psychotic breaks. Some therapists don't believe their stories and the sufferer feels like a "liar". Some are put on anti-psychotics and treated as if they were Scizophrenic. Some are put on Lithium and treated for Bipolar Disorder. A rare few get taken seriously and treated for their pain.

Survivor -ism

During the '90's there was a huge wave of sexual abuse survivors coming out and confronting their parents and other perpetrators in the media and in courtrooms. Their justifiable rage aimed at their perpetrators resulted in accusations, charges being filed, and arrests being made. The "bad guys" were called on the carpet and an adversarial situation, fed by the media, was perpetuated. This began a backlash resulting in the organization of The False Memory Syndrome Foundation. The accused took back their power by organizing, hiring lawyers and accusing the accusers of lying, and being manipulated into believing they were abused by "well meaning" therapists. Now, few people will dare risk coming out in the open to accuse their perpetrators.

Here is the rub.

People treat other people the way they were treated. When these things occur, and they do occur, it is because the abusers were themselves abused. Treating them as criminals instead of recognizing their wounding sets up an adversarial condition not conducive to healing.

After years of working with DID clients, I have come to the conclusion that most abuse happens in the form of a dissociative episode. The abusers own splitting creates more splitting in the effects of their abuse on the child they have abused. The abuse is then perpetuated on and on if no one ever recognizes what is happening.

Good-guys versus bad-guys

Putting the abusers in jail without treatment doesn't help the abused. They feel guilty because they know the person in jail is just like them. Now, I am not saying society doesn't need to be protected from people known to be abusers. But I am saying we must begin to treat them as wounded human beings deserving of our help.

Our cultural response to bad things happening is to find someone to blame. When we discover who is to blame, we punish them. This sets us up to live in a split world, one in which black and white never meet and the good-guys and bad-guys are well defined. Unfortunately this perpetuates the cycle of abuse and ignores reality.

It's not so simple

In reality we all have good parts of us and not so good parts of us. When we have been abused and deny it's reality, we have to split off this part of our awareness into a dissociated part of our brain. This part of us needs to heal so it pushes its way out in the form of repeating the trauma in some way or another. We either do it to others or put ourselves in situations where it will be done to us again.

Setting ourselves up as Victims or Perpetrators of the abuse allows us to continue to work out the trauma. It's our brain's attempt to heal. Unfortunately, without treatment, it also perpetuates the abuse cycle.

Staying stuck in the Victim/Perpetrator/Rescuer cycle prevents healing and sets us up for more trauma. Recognizing that we are all at once all of these things,and moving out of the adversarial positions of good-guy versus bad-guy gives us a chance to change and heal. This really changes everything./p>

Let me know what you think.

I know I've gone on longer than you were perhaps prepared to read. I know you must have some opinions. I'd love to hear them. Comment below.

"Not the Steven I Knew" by Melody Brooke, Conflict Coach, Motivational Speaker

Melody Brooke, MA, Conflict Coach, Motivational Speaker — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:16:40 GMT

Not a Villain?

Steven Kazmierczak’s girlfriend, Jessica Baty, said, “That’s not the Steven I knew”. She goes on to describe him as a gentle, kind man who was estranged from his family. She said he had been sent to a “group home” as a teen because he was depressed, and he medication he had been on was Prosac. Clearly, there is more to this story than can be deduced from the actions on that fateful day.

Split personalities or Prosaic’s bad side

Listening to what went on with this young man certainly makes him sound like he could have been DID (Dissociatve Identity Disorder). Jessica Baty reported that Kazmierczak could not recall his childhood and that his parents thought he was “unruly” and sent him away. Depressed and “unruly” both could describe someone beginning to display DID symptoms, and the fact that he could not recall his childhood suggests that he must have had some psychic splitting going on. He also had "obsessive compulsive" tendencies according to Jessica, also a sign of DID.

On the other hand, Prosac has strange and unpredictable side effects. As a counselor I have worked with kids and adults prescribed Prosac and other “SSRI”’s (Selective Seratonin Re-uptake Inhibitors). How SSRI’s work is not fully understood and the side effects for some people include anxiety, aggression and violence. Stopping suddenly can worsen these effects. Steven had stopped taking the drug and, from what it sounds like, without the help of a medical professional.

What and be learned?

We’ll never know what was really going on inside Steven’s head, but we have enough clues to know that Jessica Baty was correct. He was a victim, too, just like the others February 14, 2008 at NIU.

When we are shut off from our “shadow” side, the part of us that we want to deny or not accept, it leaves us prone to this kind of splitting. Knowing that ALL of us have sides of ourselves that we don’t like, that are not in congruence with our values and beliefs can help us to confront them and learn from them.

All of us have “Victim”, “Villains” and “Rescuers” inside of us; it’s in our DNA. We are pre-programmed to have these ways of responding to our world and to a sense of threat. Recognizing this can help us to face the unappealing truths about ourselves and, perhaps, keep us from reacting in aggressive, or even, violent ways. This changes everything.

Maybe we can also be more thoughtful and less prone to try to solve everything with a pill, too.

What about you?

How well do you know your own “shadow side”? Have you explored the parts of you that you dislike or reject? Do you think I am making excuses for a monster? Tell me what you think. Comment below.

Split Illinois Shooter by Melody Brooke, MA, LPC, Author, Conflict Coach

Melody Brooke, MA, Conflict Coach, Motivational Speaker — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 16:17:20 GMT

Kazmierczak Dissociatve?
The details about this man who shot 20 people and left 7 dead are beginning to unravel. This mornings AP article talked about the contradictions in his behavior. They sound, in my experience, very much like those of a Dissociative Identity Disordered individual.
Evidence?
Kazmierczak was hospitalized in the past, for what condition we don't know. One of the issues he dealt with is that he didn't like staying on his meds. Many DID clients are mistakenly given anti-psychotic medications which cause them side effects and are inneffective in managing symptoms. Voices that come from being split into alter personalities cannot be silenced by drugs.
Another issue he struggled with was self harm, a common symptom of DID. Reportedly he was a "cutter" (someon who cuts themselves). "Cutters" do this in an effort to manage internal pain. Our bodies release endorphins when we are injured and these endorphins coursing through our system relieve pain in much the same way opiates do. This is one of the reason's it is so difficult to stop "cutters" from cutting. It becomes quite addictive.
Kazmierczak's pain
Most of the people who knew him had little to say about him that sounded like he was suffering in any way. They saw him as a nice guy, though some suggested he struggled with intimacy problems. He had a girlfriend who reports say he sometimes engaged in physical altercations with, though it never involved hitting. He would physically restrain her during arguments.
The night befoe the shootings he talked with his uncle making plans for playing a game of chess with him. None of this sounds like someone in psychological distress. Though there are reports of his possibly haven broken up with his girlfriend.
What could have happened to him?
It's doubtful that we will ever know what happened to him to have created the kind of turmoil he was clearly experiencing. Family's of these type of perpetrators rarely admit to having knowledge of their having been abused in any way. Why would they want to acknowledge what they might have done to contribute to these people's horrific behaviors?
Cho Seung-hui, the gunman who killed 32 students at West Virginia Tech, had sent many more clues as to his misery. He was reportedly on anti-psychotics and also had been hospitalized for mental illness in the past. But his writings certainly indicated trauma history. He wrote repeatedly suggestive statements of his having been sexually abused, and his intense anger about it. Could he have been split, too? It's not so clear with him since his behavior was more consistent with the profile of someone who would do this sort of thing. But he was certainly suffering from some kind of traumatic history.
Traumatic splitting
Traumatic splitting occurs, generally in childhood, when a person is subjected to some kind of traumatic incident that is overwhelming to the child. While the trauma is happening the child energetically leaves their body, looking down on themselves as if from above. They then look at the child being traumatized as being separate from them, as if it were happening to someone else. This kind of splitting, when it occurs frequently enough, becomes DID. At least, that is one of the paths to the disorder.

The faces of evil or the faces of pain?
Looking at these facese is spooky, perhaps because we know what happened to the person behind those eyes. But even without having known what these men did, we could easily see that something is missing in their eyes. Could it be dissociation? Could these hollow expressions carry the blankness of one's mind being split so completely as to carry out such horrific behaviors? Let me know what you think when you see these faces. Could this kind of pain be behind the attacks? Comment below.

Patty Hearst Wins at Westminster! by Melody Brooke, Conflict Coach, Speaker, Author

Melody Brooke, MA, Conflict Coach, Motivational Speaker — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 15:51:30 GMT

You Go Girl!

Patty Hearst has had injustice done to her that was tragic. First by being kidnapped by terrorist organization (one that supposedly had ties to the religious cult 'Synanon"), then by a justice system that ignored her trauma. Fortunately President Carter, and then President Clinton released her from her sentence.

She was held, not just as a prisoner, but as a torture and brainwashing victim. They kept he in a closet, denied her food, drugged her, beat her and terrorized her. Then they began calling her a name they made up for her. Who knows what else they did to her. Eventually they managed to split her identity and she accepted the name and persona of "Tanya". At that point her torture and brainwashing stopped, but the very real threat of her going back into the closet was constant.

That any court could not see what had happened to her as being a psychological trauma over which she had no control, was handing out injustice.

Patty now

Today, it was announced that she was a won a top prize at the famous Westminster dog show with her little french bulldog. Its a long way from "Tanya". Patty has also acted in a number of productions from film to television in the past several years. Her life has obviously turned around since the horror. One can only assume she got the help she needed. Good for her.

The splitting that results from abuse

In my practice I have had clients whom grew up in this cult. Synanon practiced and got quit expert at mind control tactics. They are reported to have learned how to shock, beat, humiliate, isolate and rape its members into complete acquiescence to their ends. Their leader was a power crazed psychotic that was eventually murdered by a former cult member. Reportedly, hundreds, perhaps thousands of people were indoctrinated in this way by their bizarre and cruel tactics.

How was Patty identified to be used in this way?

Perhaps it was desire for funding from Randolph Hearst, perhaps it was merely opportune. We'll never know. But what my experience with it's victims has taught me is that they knew quite well how to psychologically split personalities and to use those split off parts to their own ends.

Patty was not their only victim, just the most notorious.

When children are subjected to traumatic, horrifying experiences their minds naturally reject what is happening to them. While the event is so horrific it cannot be fully denied, it can be rejected as theirs. The child looks at what is happening and says to themselves something like "Oh, look at that poor little kid over there. What an awful thing."

Surviving at any cost

This splitting themselves apart from the experience allows them to psychologically survive the event. Many of us have experienced a few events that we experienced as traumatic, and we split off the experience, but because we did not continue to experience repeated traumas of a similar kind, we did not form separate personalities to deal with it. We may have split it off if it was foreign enough, or outside of our known family history (say a child molested by a neighbor and the family never knew). Or, if the event was a part of our family history but no one ever talked about it (say a parent had a mental breakdown and became self abusive in front of the child, but then received treatment and it never happened again), we may have split off the experience. Other traumas like our parents beating all the kids and all the kids knew and talked about it might not be split off, unless it went beyond beatings into repeated torture.

Understanding how DID happens

Okay I'll bet you've had TMI at this point, (too much information). These are the stories of what happens to sufferers of Dissociative Identity Disorder. They have had a series of horrific events happen to them (of course sometimes it can develop from an overly imaginative child left alone too long). But I give you this information to help you understand how DID happens to most sufferers.

My heart goes out to Herschel Walker, and perhaps Britney Spears, who knows what they have been through, too.

We all have "parts"

While we don't all have DID, we do all have separate ego states that we go in to under certain circumstances. When we feel threatened, overwhelmed or out of control we will move into certain behavioral sets that dictate our behavior and our choices. If we are DID we simply split off into a different identity.

Making the choice to respond differently to those feelings is not always so easy. In our culture we are taught to medicate our pain and fear with whatever method we can find. Some of us choose drugs and alcohol, others food, sex, work or exercise. We become our own Rescuer, doing whatever we can to stop the fear and pain. Of course we end up being a Victim of our own attempts to stop it don't we? We hurt ourselves and the people around us when we do it. Yet it is a accepted part of our culture.

< But,we can change EVERYTHING when we do things differently.

How about you?

How do you handle it when you feel threatened, overwhelmed or out of control? Do you know anyone medicating their pain? Someone with apparently split off parts of themselves? Comment below and let me know what you think.

Who is to Blame in this 7 Year Olds Death? by Melody Brooke, Author. Speaker, Relationship Coach

Melody Brooke, MA, Conflict Coach, Motivational Speaker — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 02:29:23 GMT

Stepdad Blames Abused Child for her Death

Blame is a deadly thing. It incites our instincts to rail in self protective measures. When we indulge in blame we set up others and ourselves for misery. Our brains are wired to do this, to look to someone else to hold responsible for our misery. ?

Cesar Rodriguez was a young father, with 6 children to feed. Apparently he was having difficulty doing this and was dealing with a vindictive, angry wife (at least that's how he saw it). With six children to care for, a wife who (from his perspective) didn't appreciate him, and little psychological resources, Cesar Rodriguez broke. He held this young, rebellious but innocent, child to blame for his misery.

Or did he? He claims the mother was the girls mother. His lawyer claims the mother, beside herself with blame over the death of her unborn child, blamed the girl for miscarriage and killed the girl herself. The girl had been severely abused prior to her death, both parents had to have been in some way responsible for this.

Blame is the enemy

When blame happens our brains take over; not our thinking brains; our mammalian instinctive brain that executes survival strategies that are often outside our conscious control. Whether it was Cesar Rodriguez or Nixzaliz Santiago (the girls mother) it's clear the girl carried a load of blame that she did not earn, and had no control over.

When we fall into blame, we lose our ability to see things clearly. Our view becomes distorted by our belief in the blame. We fail to see the object of our blame as a human being, we see them as out enemy. Empathy never enters the frame of reference.

This is how these horrid things occur. This is how all acts of violence occur. When there is blame; there is a complete failure of empathy as well. We lose our ability to see how things are from the others position.

How does this happen?

This happens because our brains survival instincts are sometimes so incredibly strong they overpower our thinking brain. Generally, in my experience, the thing that makes these survival instincts overtake us is our own history of trauma. When we have been in situations requiring our instincts to take over as a child, these instincts become very strong. They become so powerful that it takes tremendous strength of will to overcome them.

I know, I've worked with some of the bravest people on the planet. The trauma survivors I have worked with in therapy have had the courage and tenacity to work consciously to overcome their automatic reflexes to move into a survival mode any time they feel threatened.

The rest of us need to be aware of our own survival instincts and how they cause us to blame the people we love and lose touch with who they really are. The price for our relationships is measured in the divorce rate. We may not kill our children; but we kill our marriages. Oh,wow, doesn't this change everything/p>

What needs to change?

The tragedy of a young couple trying to manage caring for 6 children with no community intervention is part of what needs to be changed. We need to be willing to address the problems people have directly. Someone had to have noticed this child's bruises. Why was this not address by Child Protective Services? Where there people in this girls life more concerned with protecting her parents than getting them help?

When we blame the parents for the abuse we are not addressing the problem. Criminalizing abuse is not a good thing. While it has to be stopped, throwing the person into jail doesn't fix the problem. Addressing the needs of the family, educating and providing counseling is the only hope for families like this.

What is to become of the other 5 children? What if the mother was the abuser and they are left with her? One of these other children will be her next blame target.

What do you think?

Should we continue to criminalise child abuse? Should we find a way to intervene and help the family without blame? Comment below, I'd love to hear from you.

My Take on Britney Spears by Melody Brooke, MA, Author, Speaker, Relationship Coach

Melody Brooke, MA, Conflict Coach, Motivational Speaker — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 16:00:44 GMT

Britney Again

I know, like everyone, you are probably tired of hearing about this wayward prima-dona. But I can't resist talking about her again. I don't know what is going on with her care, but I seriously doubt anyone is giving her the king of care she really needs.

The Dark Defiant One

When you look at a phot like this one, you realized the girl has to be in a lot of pain. Look at her eyes. They are dark and defiant. What I see in those eyes is something I call a "Self Protector", a personality that is daring anyone to mess wit her. Then you see a photo like this one:

The Party Girl

This girl is something entirely different. This is a girl who is out to rescue herself from her pain. She is medicating the pain in the role of "Rescuer" to herself. She becomes the "party girl" to medicate the pain underneath.

Finally you just see her as the woeful waif underneath the pain.

The Innocent Waif

Seeing her in these three photos it's clear she has (at least) three separate ways of operating in the world. One as the defiant "Self Protector", second as the "Rescuer" "party girl", third as the "Victim" or injured waif.

Dissociative Identity Disorder?

Of course, we all have these inside us at different times don't we? Britney may be in a far more extreme display of these roles, she may be Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) as she has claimed (and I believe is fully possible). But the rest of us have these roles inside of us, too. We display these characteristics in smaller, more subtle ways, but they are there aren't they?

. Since 1996 I've studied DID from the likes of Dr. Collin Ross and Dr. Jerry Mungadze (he wrote the forward to Herschel Walker's book, "Breaking Free"). What I have learned is that while those suffering from DID have the clearly dissociated walls of alter egos, we all have the same type of separations with in us, as well. Oh, wow, this really changes everything doesn't it? When we see that the rest of us have these three separate ways of functioning in response to certain types of situations; it changes how we view ourselves and others. We just don't have it as distinctly separate as DID's do.

We are not so different

These separate ways of reacting to threat and fear are typical of how our automatic brain functions. Seeing them in Britney in these photos makes me feel even more strongly that she is DID, obviously I can't make that diagnosis since I have never met her, but boy, it sure looks like it from here.

Talk to me

What do you think? Is Britney suffering from DID? Is she just a spoiled brat? If you KNOW Britney personally, I'd particularly like your take. I know there are a lot of conflicting views on this young woman. I'd love to hear from you. Comment below.

Vatican Encourages Exorcisms

Melody Brooke, MA, Conflict Coach, Motivational Speaker — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:40:48 GMT

Exorcisms?

According to a CNN report, the Vatican is now endorsing and encouraging more priests to learn to perform exorcisms. The Father the reporter talked to about this insisted that "the devil" is active and has more opportunity these days to invade people's spirits because they have become distanced from the church. The Father says he knows that someone is possessed by their eyes. He says the priests have gotten away from doing exorcisms in the past couple of hundred years, but the new Pope is now encouraging this training among priests.

My own experiences with exorcism

I've had mixed feelings about the whole issue of "possession". One of the standard explanations for someone suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder is that they are not really "multiple" but demonically possessed. In fact, early descriptions of the disorder are based on people observing someone who is "demonically possessed". I have also known individuals who have been put through exorcisms, horrific, abusive rituals designed to "help" these people recover from the "devil"s possession.

My training in DID included an understanding that those clients thinking they were possessed actually had rejected parts of themselves and "demonized" them in their own minds. I remember one young woman happily proclaiming that she went to a Native American sweat lodge and released the demons during the process. She admitted that perhaps they were not really "demons", but these "parts" of herself, believed they were and had to be released in this way.

Rejecting the "Demons' inside all of us

What I know is that many of us reject parts of ourselves. I was brought up to recognize all races as equal and that any sign of prejudice was a terrible thing. Yet, at an early age I was exposed to a grandfather who was very bigoted and preached about it to my siblings and me. I loved my grandfather dearly; I was his "angel". In order to gain his acceptance, a part of me accepted his view of other races. Yet, when I got home, that view was unacceptable. This required me to reject a part of me that had previously accepted this produced view of other people. I had a hidden part of me that had accepted a view point that I had learned to be incorrect and even ignorant. This shadow part of myself could be considered a "demon" couldn't it?

This part of me became a separate, secluded attitude that most of me didn't know existed. I myself, rejected it and pushed it back outside of my awareness in order to avoid feeling something with which I vehemently disagreed. It became a kind of "enemy within".

The "Demons" aren't really bad

What I have discovered is that we all have these "demons" inside us and until we recognize that they are not "bad", but just parts of us that need our attention they will remain a part of us with the potential to burst out of us at unexpected and unfortunate times.

I had to embrace this little part of me that wanted to be accepted by my grandfather, acknowledging that as the motivation behind the prejudiced beliefs. Then I had to forgive myself for having those beliefs that no longer fit my paradigm. I had to have empathy for the little girl who wanted someone to love her. Its not her fault loving him came with the price of having to believe as he did.

Empathy can heal them

When we can accept these rejected parts of our selves, we don't have to be "exorcised", instead we love the parts of us we formerly rejected, accepting that this part of us was doing the best it could under the circumstances. I've seen this happen with my DID clients, and with my "normal" clients, as well as within myself. It also happens with rejected members of a family or community.

What about you?

Have you ever rejected a part of yourself? I know that we all do it, but have you experienced this in the form of an exorcism? Or in the form of acceptance? Do you think we SHOULD reject parts of ourselves? Tell me what you think, comment below, I'd love to hear from you.