Female sex therapist Dr. Marta Meana claims that when it comes to sex, what women really want is to be wanted.  Oprah had her on her show and women all over seem to be responing to her message. I have to agree 100% that what women really want is to turn on their guy to the point that he craves her, and only her with wild abandon. She will want him to "take her" without having to talk about it, but only if she really wants him, too. 

Women think that talking is the important key to intimacy, and while there are times that it is important, talking can get in the way of sexual intimacy. If what a woman wants is to be wanted with abandon, and he asks "Do you want to do it tonight, honey?" at the end of a busy, tiresome day of work, homemaking and kids, what is she going to say? "Not tonihgt dear, I have a headache!" or she will give in and it feels like she is engaging in just another daily chore.

What if instead he started caressing her in such a way that she felt his desire for her trembling in his touch, the force of his desire, and she can hear the passion in his breath? No matter how tired she is, she will likely succumb to his passions. And she will get drawn into the excitement, even if she isn't wanting an orgasm she will be thilled at his wanting her so desperately. This is what "bodic ripper" books that women buy by the millions portray.

The trick here is that if there is a backlog of resentment or if there is history of sexual trauma, the woman in this picture will possibly experience the scene described above as rape. And, any man that has experienced a woman responding this way to his passion may feel so ashamed of himself for her response, that he wil never give her (or another woman) that kind of passion again.

So if you don't address these issues then your relationship may be missing out on the hot, passionate, great sex you both desire.  But these are tricky, sensitive issues aren't they? You have to find a way to talk about them and develop the kind of compassion for each other's sensitivities before you can have the bodic ripper scene in your own home.